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Microwave Calisthenics

“What are you doing?” Emma asked.
“I’m doing my exercises,” I replied.
I’d just finished my second set of 10 calve raises. My ginseng herbal tea still had another sixty seconds to warm in the microwave and with no interruptions I could pull out 30 squats in the remaining time.
“In front of the microwave in your pajamas?” Em continued with the interrogation.
“Is there a problem with that? I’m multi-tasking and increasing the blood flow to my brain.” I resumed doing my squats.


“What is she doing?” Layce asked Emma. She’d taken to inquiring with Emma whenever my behavior disturbed her. I think she was afraid of offending me by asking me directly.
“She’s multi-tasking in her pajamas.”
I took my tea out of the microwave, placed it on the bar, and headed upstairs. I brought down my book. Then I went back upstairs and brought down my glasses. Then I took the laundry upstairs.
I came back downstairs and got the milk out of the fridge for my tea. I did three sets of ten of bicep curls with the half full gallon milk jug. I sat on the chair, strapped on my ankle weights and did ten leg lifts on either leg.
By this time Layce and Emma were both concerned.
“What?” I said, getting off the chair. I began my ascent up the stairs again.
“You’ve been up and down a lot today. Maybe you should make a note about what you need to bring down so you don’t have to make so many trips,” Layce suggested.
“I know, but that’s the point,” I said, as I powered upstairs taking two steps at a time.
On the way back down with my phone and sneakers, I overheard Emma say to Layce, “Maybe you should just get her that BowFlex she wants so bad. Then she could exercise like normal people.”
I smiled. My evil plan was working.


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