Diary of an Insomniac

Did I lock the front door?

H. Bear would not allow anyone to get past the first ominous door handle turn without ripping off a limb before the perpetrator ever got further than the threshold.

“Go back to sleep,” my inner I-wanna-sleep voice said. I tried to close my eyes. My eyes popped open. Do we have enough milk for morning coffee? I want to bring Layce breakfast in bed which is mostly comprised of coffee due to my lack of culinary skills. Maybe I should go check. I could run out and get some. I’m not sleeping anyway.

“Close your eyes. There will be enough milk,” my inner I-just-wanna-sleep voice said.

“You sound like Yoda.”

“I’ll sound like the Dalai Lama if it will make you go to sleep. Now, close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes.

If I live 30 more years that’s only 30 summers left to enjoy. That’s only 30 vacations maybe 60 tops if I go on two trips a year.  I better make them count. I should make a bucket list right now.

“Please, close your eyes and count sheep, or how about walking on a beach or try meditation. That might work.”

“I can’t meditate. My mind is like a squirrel in a box.”

“Deep breathing. That’s easy. Anyone can breathe,” my I-wanna-sleep voice said.

“I always feel like I’m hyperventilating.”

“How about taking your hyperventilating squirrel in a box to a happy place?”

Am I happy? I feel happy. I have all these wonderful people in my life. I am happy. I am very happy…zzzzz.

“Thank you, Morpheus,” the I-wanna-sleep voice said.

“Not a problem,” Morpheus said. “I was getting sick of her too.”

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