Making lesbians happy – one book at a time!

The Tea and the Tupperware

Was I going crazy and they weren’t going to tell me? It would be an act of kindness on their part. But wasn’t I going to find out sooner or later? Insanity kind of crept up on a person and made itself evident eventually. I rummaged around some more. It had to be here somewhere. I hadn’t imagined going to Bentonville, standing in the tea shop and getting honey, ginger and rosehips tea, and hippy ginseng and green tea. Or had I?

The kettle sang. Crap. I made an executive decision and chose the youngberry and orange tea. That was in a canister I could find.  I put it in the tea ball, (I found that, no problem), and the ball into the teapot, (which I also found, thank God), on the tea tray that was strangely still around. Had I traveled somewhere into a parallel Universe where my tea did not exist?

As the tea steeped I went back to rummaging. Where was that Tupperware container with the tea? It was at least ten inches long and six inches wide. Something that size did not go poof. I pulled out the plastic grocery bags that we have stored under the counter where the tea used to be. I felt one that had something in it. It was the TEA! What the hell? It was there but the Tupperware wasn’t? Something was definitely hinky.

I brought the tea tray into the living room and served. Layce sniffed her cup. “This isn’t the ginger tea,” she stated.

“I know. I couldn’t find the ginger tea so we’re having youngberry instead.”

“But I was looking forward to the ginger tea.”

“Well, the kettle was boiling and I had to make an executive decision. I didn’t find the ginger tea until after I made the other tea because by some unknown hinky event the Tupperware that the GINGER tea was in went missing. I found it in a plastic grocery bag that was in with a bunch of other grocery bags that you make plarn out of so God-only-knows when we would have found the GINGER tea had I not located it now.”

“What are you saying? That I’m falling behind on my plarn-making?”

“Well, if the shoe fits.” I sipped my tea. “Why was my tea in that bag anyway?” I eyeballed Layce. The nickels were being to go ching-ching. It wasn’t something Em would have done. I didn’t do it and the dogs do not have opposable thumbs.

“I put it there because that particular piece of Tupperware is for the freezer so I put the tea in a bag and took the Tupperware.” She sipped her tea that she wished was ginger tea but was not because she hid the tea to make me think I was crazy.

“Oh, so you put the tea in a plastic bag with a bunch of other plastic bags without telling me that we were playing the Purloined Letter and you put the tea where I would recall the Edgar Allen Poe story and find the tea after I ripped up the floor boards.”

“It was my freezer Tupperware.”

“And I was supposed to know this how?”

“All the stuff with blue lids are FREEZER Tupperware.”

“Well, why didn’t you mark it accordingly? Like put a Post-It that says ‘This is FREEZER Tupperware. Use it at your own risk,’ which in this case was the risk of insanity.”

“Insanity?” Layce said.

“I thought I had imagined buying that tea because I couldn’t find it.”

“Really? It would be that easy to drive you insane?”

Oh, no.

“You know what the moral of this story is?” Layce asked.

“The youngberry and orange tea was a perfectly acceptable substitute for the ginger?”

“Wrong. The moral of this story is keep your tea out of my Tupperware,” she said.

“You say that now.” I waggled my eyebrows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I smiled and waggled my eyebrows again, putting extra meaning behind the gesture.

“I don’t understand you. You’re driving me crazy,” Layce said.

I smiled. Turnabout is fair play. I sipped my tea.

Crazy Little Thing, a tour de farce, is now available!

CLT Cover w farce_edited-1

Click here to be magically transported!

So if you need a lift or a laugh – actually, I can’t think of any situation that reading this book wouldn’t improve – go buy it, read it, and laugh yourself silly. ~Geekzilla


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