“What are you doing?” I said, coming down the stairs.
“I’m thinking,” Layce said.
“We don’t have time for that and it’s not in the schedule,” I said, holding up a newly printed piece of paper.
Layce eyed me with evident suspicion. “What’s that?”
I handed it to her. “Our new schedule.”
“Schedule for what?” She glanced down at what I viewed as a masterpiece of time engineering.
“Our day. I think we need more structure. I’ve done it up in thirty minute segments except for writing for which I allotted three hours – but that includes breaks because of my medical condition,” I informed her.
I’d twisted my tailbone so I couldn’t sit for more than thirty minutes without a stretching break. “You, of course, do not have a medical condition so you can keep writing or take one of the prescheduled break times if you’d like, but it’s not mandatory.”
“How generous of you,” Layce said. She continued reading the schedule.
“So as you can see after we write then we exercise; then we have lunch; then we have a music appreciation hour but I’ve tied that in with the craft hour so we can multi-task; then we…”
She cut me off. “God forbid we had idle hands,” Layce said. She held the schedule like a used tissue.
“As you can see I did schedule in ‘alone time’ so you can get your business done.”
“What business? You mean like book marketing?” Layce said.
“No, we do marketing in the late afternoon because people are at work and I don’t think we should encourage people to take valuable time away from productive work hours to shop online or use social media. They can do that when they get home. So if we market after 3 p.m. we’ll hit either lunch time or after work depending on the time zone.”
“God forbid anyone goofs off at work,” Layce said.
“I’m getting a hostile vibe here.”
Layce ignored that statement. “So what’s this alone time thing then?”
“It’s so you can poop. You always say when you go upstairs to poop that you need some ‘alone time’ so I scheduled it in which I thought was rather decent of me. Most schedulers don’t figure in personal time like that.”
“You are scheduling WHEN I can take a shit????”
“It’s an efficient use of time. I would also recommend taking the Writer’s Digest so you can bone up on the latest trends while you poop. It’s another prime example of multi-tasking.”
Layce stared at me open-mouthed. She evidently was super-impressed with my scheduling abilities. “I know. It’s a marvel of time management.” I said.
She wadded up the schedule and threw it at me.
“Not a problem. I have more,” I said, calling out after her.
She opened the front door.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Someplace where they don’t have a schedule.”
“But that’s not in the schedule.”
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